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24 ways to have your balls cut off Edit

Daisies

Ivory fields of daisies,
Singing like a boys choir,
No mercy for none,
All their balls cut off

Unlucky Bird

In the dark sky,
A bird will fly,
He doesnt see the snare,
And his balls cut off

Don’t try Suicide

In the deep dark night,
A man tries suicide,
He jumped from the roof,
And cut his balls off

Tiger

Tiger Woods on the green,
His ex-wife chased him all the way from Aberdeen,
He hits the ball in the rough,
And his balls cut off

Oops

Boy working with the machine,
Maybe he’s being too tough,
Then he sees something green,
And his balls cut off

Old together

Old lucky couple,
Always made love,
But since today there’ll be no more,
He got his balls cut off

Heavy acid

Heavy acid,
Running down the streets,
Unlucky guy, can’t get away,
Sees his balls burning off

Gymnastics

Gymnastic li’l fella,
Could’ve gone to the olympics,
But a small mistake on the bridge,
And his balls cut off

Scissor

Naïve fat boy,
Runnin’ around with scissors,
Can still see him fall,
Cutting of his balls

Catch!

Boy throwing a pen,
At his dear old friend,
The catch was pretty tough,
And his balls cut off

Sven

He was a young promising skater,
Never made a mistake,
Fell once, got overskated,
And his balls cut off

King Arthur

Arthur of Camelot,
King of the Britons,
Fought with the black knight,
And he cut his balls off (It's just a scratch...)

Retirement

Old man, birdwatching,
During his long awaited holiday,
Sadly the eagle didn’t feel that way,
And his balls cut off

Nonsense

The bird left the nest,
The monkey eating a banana,
The tree has lost his leaves,
And so his balls cut off

Sneeze

Young bloke caught flue, in the middle of a breeze,
Thought he could keep inside his sneeze,
But pressure built and even before his cough,
His balls cut off

Shaving

Young bloke hating his beard,
Struggling with his razor, every day,
Greasy handle, slips from his hands,
And his balls cut off

Surgery

Old man, folded face,
Wakes up after surgery, hears a startling voice,
‘’Oh, your the one who wanted facelift, I can see’’
And his balls cut off

Chinese surprise

In a big city,
A man travels to the chinese,
When he sits down he suddenly sees a samurai,
And his balls cut off

Diseases

Always nice, he thought,
I’ll visit the neighbour,
Should’ve told his dog had rabies,
And his balls cut off

Swim

"I'll take a cooling swim",
Said the fat lazy tourist,
Unaware of the Piranha's,
Had his balls cut off

War

Fighting like a true patriot,
Killing as many as he can,
But didn't notice the second assault,
And got his balls blown off.

Compass

Boy in class,
Doing math,
Struggles to get his compass,
And his balls cut off

Percy

Percy on a travel,
Exploring the Brazilian woods,
Thinks he can say hi to every native
And his balls cut off

Torture

Between the empty house’s walls,
Truly, horrors taking place,
Only the hostage sees the torturer’s face,
Cutting of his balls


Overig Edit

MonoxideEdit

He could not know, before his prays,
That the house he sleeps inside,
And has lived in all his days,
Is badly leaking monoxide, And as he’s peacefully dreaming,
No one knows his grueling fate,
There wouldn't even be no one to hear his inside screaming,
As he slowly suffocates.

Suicide, againEdit

He wanted to start over after the divorce,
Met a new girl on a blind date,
But after they had intercourse,
She told him she had aids.

From the inside now he melted,
Didn't care, started to smoke,
But when he jumped at night, she felt,
She had to tell it was a joke!

XTCEdit

Maybe it wasn't a very smart idea,
But that wouldn't convince him,
Yes, he wanted to be free,
Yes, he knew what whould help,
A little XTC

He was feeling like a cloud,
And there was an endless rainbow,
And the sounds were very loud,
But he didn't want to go so far by the window,
And was afraid of the sound,
Of hitting the ground.

The Electric EelEdit

In the wide waters of the Amazon river
There lives an animal that makes you shiver,
It's the most noble Electric Eel,
Yes, legendary but he's real,
The most noble Electric Eel,

Swimming around in troubled water,
Sometimes he's the most vicious slaughter,
Killing with his powerful shock,
Even the biggest frog,

In the wide waters of the Amazon river
There lives an animal that makes you shiver,
It's the most noble Electric Eel,
Yes, legendary but he's real,
The most noble Electric Eel,

PencilsEdit

Maybe he drank too much beer,
Maybe his mind wasn't very clear,
Dispite it was his last try,
Then he got a pencil in his eye.

The Sky Edit

The bird is so high,
He's high in the sky,
But he didn't see why,
He hit that guy.

People Edit

The people are wrong,
The people are bad,
The people are murdered,
The people are dead

Glue Edit

My head is turning blue,
Because I ate too much glue.
It is flowing through my throat,
As of the cause of death I wrote

The tube in my wet hands,
While the glue in my mouth expands.
That sticky, little nasty stuff,
I consider this as enough.

Mr MosquitoEdit

Hello, little guy,
Flying around my head.
Shouldn't it be time,
that you go to bed?

Hey, little one,
Sitting very still.
This would be the time,
For me to kill.

RainingEdit

When it's raining,
Nature is trying to wash my clothes,
Because it's raining.

But the rain can't harm me,
As i'm save inside my house,
Because it's raining.

The man in the mirror Edit

There is a man in the mirror,
Starring at my face,
There is a man in the mirror,
Wanting some space.

There was a man in the mirror,
He wanted some space,
The man in the mirror,
Left without a trace.

Lawn mowerEdit

There he's rolling,
With his most sharp blades,
He thinks he's the king,
But his reign of terror,
Will soon be over.

As he, slowly, approaches,
The innocent leaves start to shake,

But as the Lawn mower,
Is cutting his lawn,
He, unawarely, cuts into his partner,
His partner in crime, the gardenhose,
His bloody friends causes a malfunction,
Ice cold water is flowing through his system,
And the lawn mower dies an electric death.

As the old king is left for garbage,
A new king is to arrive,
A fresh one shall come,
From the local hardware store,
And the lawn should not think,
That this is a thing to celebrate.

Nederlands Edit

Burka Edit

IK ZIE NIKS, WAAR IS DE LICHT
IK ZIE ZWART VOOR DE GEZICHT
ACHE ACH IK ZIJN TOCH DOM
IK HEB DE BURKA ANDERSOM

Wolken Edit

Een man loopt op de wolken,
Met zijn gedachten verdwaalt,
Rond op de wolken,
Door gedachten gemaakt.

Zomer Edit

Met de zomer in mijn bol,
Ren ik naar buiten,
Grijpend in het rond,
Ren ik naar buiten,
Springend in het rond,
Ren ik naar buiten,
Dwarrelend door de lucht,
Val ik op de grond.

De reis Edit

Langs zeeën en kusten,
Lang is de reis,
Toert het grote gezelsschap,
Van Rob de Nijs.

Liefde Edit

Ik hou van jou
Jij van je autootje
Ik trouw met jou
Jij met je autootje
Jij brak mijn hart
Ik jouw autootje

Lente Edit

Ik hou van het leven,
Ik hou van de zon,
Ik open de deur
En flikker van het balkon.

BBQ Edit

Door de bergen van het groene land,
Lopen de mensen hand in hand,
Ze hebben net gebarbecued,
Met hun handen in het verband

1 Edit

De 1 is de ander niet,
Een 2 is geen 1,
Dat waren er 2,
Maar 1 ging er heen.

Liefde Edit

Liefde is het antwoord,
Het antwoord op alles,
Het meisje pest me,
Nu is ze zwanger

Oh Edit

Op zee voer een driemaster. Beren eten graag honing.

warme stralenEdit

Zachte warme stralen
Waar ik van geniet.
Verlaat gij mij?
Zie mij dralen
De weg is zoek
grijs en grauw
Wat een vloek
Wolk ga daar weg
Laat mij laden
Laat mij sterken
In lengte der dagen
zachte warme stralen
ik wacht op uw bezoek

Haiku Edit

Het regent Edit

Maandag Het regent
Was ik vandaag maar een jong
spinazieplantje

Zon Edit

Daar ik loop daar weer
Met de stront onder mijn schoen
Te zien daar de zon

De BakkersEdit

Waar waren ze toch?
De kruimels in hun snorren
Zure appeltaart

Toetsweek Edit

Wat een heerlijk weer
Om hier binnen te zitten
Toetsen te leren

Jan Kees de Jager Edit

Jan Kees de Jager
Bedacht een belastingtruc
't werkte toch niet

Fietsen Edit

Wil vandaag fietsen
Steenpuist op mijn achterwerk
Blijf dan toch maar thuis

Blauwe BanaanEdit

De Blauwe Banaan
Reed toen over het fietspad
Maar dan veel te stil

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